The Visit

I’ve come this far

Might as well see where all this goes

I walk past the desk and turn the corner

Looking down a long

Bright

Hallway

There was only one room

Only one door on the

Right

I could see it was slightly cracked

Open

My anxiety rose

As I tried to anticipate

What waited for me

Behind those doors

Clutching my garments

I shakily placed one foot

In front of the other

My symptoms worsening 

With each step that I took

The hallway

Seemed everlasting

As if every step I took forward

The door shifted two paces back

Reaching that door in this condition seemed

Impossible

Unattainable

Why

Now of all times

I finally try to take responsibility

For myself

And I’m incapable of even doing so

I’m tired

I’m tired of being tired

Of feeling helpless

Of not having control

I dug down deep

Past the pain

Past the hurt

Past the shackles

I found

What I had always needed

The push that I constantly ignored

Then I ran

Sprinted

With everything in me

My legs moving faster

And faster

With each step

Faster than I could handle

Collapsing

At the end of the hallway

At the door

Light spilling from the cracks

I drag myself up

Hunched over

Still in pain

I push the door open

As my eyes adjust

I’m met with an empty room

Well,

Mostly empty

A chair sat in the middle

Of a room with mirrors on all sides

I didn’t understand

There was nothing in here that would

Treat my symptoms

Remove my hurt

Heal my pain

In anger I flung the chair at the mirror

Shattering

Into a million pieces

Scattered on the floor

Chest heaving

Breath shaggy

I stared at those broken pieces

And they stared right back at me

To be continued….

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